Across the United States, a quiet yet present crisis is unfolding among young men. Researchers increasingly describe a phenomenon known as the “delayed launch” of adulthood. Many young men are taking longer to enter stable work, form families and establish a clear sense of direction in life.
The issue is not limited to economics. It is deeply connected to questions of self-search, vocation and what may be understood as a crisis of purpose. In previous generations, the transition into adulthood was often marked by clear expectations. Young men were expected to work, provide, make sacrifices, contribute to their communities and eventually form families of their own. These were responsibilities not always accomplished with ease, but they provided a framework for growth and maturity.
Today, that framework has changed. According to labor data, male participation in the workforce has steadily declined over the past several decades. In 1970, roughly 80% of American men participated in the labor force. By recent estimates, that number has dropped closer to 69%. Among younger men, especially those without college degrees, the decline has been even more pronounced.
However, this crisis is not simply about employment; it is a deeper crisis of social participation. A crisis was also brought to our attention in 2023 by the U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, who issued a warning describing the rise of “an epidemic of loneliness and isolation.” More recently, attention has increasingly turned toward men, with some researchers and commentators identifying what has been termed a “male loneliness epidemic.”
Importantly, this form of loneliness extends beyond romantic relationships and reflects broader social disconnection. To this point, traditional milestones of adulthood like marriage, stable employment and civic participation are happening later or not at all for many.
This article will highlight, from personal experience working with young men, one noticeable factor in this reality.
A world of virtual victories
One of the most visible cultural shifts affecting young men is the rise of immersive digital entertainment. Video games now occupy a significant portion of leisure time for many young men. Research from the National Bureau of Economic Research found that young men dramatically increased the amount of time spent playing video games over the past two decades, often replacing hours that previous generations might have spent working or developing other ideas, responsibilities and abilities.
Yet the appeal of video games is not difficult to understand. They offer something the real world increasingly struggles to provide: clear goals, meaningful challenges and visible progress — all within a framework of very few consequences for failure and highly competitive, entertaining environments.
Within these digital worlds, athletes or those who lead athletic teams can become heroes, warriors and other significant figures who are noticeably admirable. They can defeat enemies, lead teams, build empires and master difficult challenges. Their efforts are rewarded, their identity affirmed and their progress recognized.
These all can be good things. The problem? This is only within a virtual world. But when the person disconnects from the video game, the contrast with real life can be stark.
Many young men feel that in the real world, they are none of those things. They may not feel needed, not feel capable, not feel invited into any meaningful mission. This presents a real opportunity for the Church to present young men with a real opportunity for community, mission and vocation.
The deeper hunger
The deeper issue facing young men today is not simply technology or entertainment. It is the absence of spaces where they can feel invited to flourish, serve and mature. Without clear pathways into meaningful responsibility, young men often drift.
Some turn to digital worlds where the experience of achievement is easier to obtain. Others struggle quietly with isolation, anxiety and a lack of direction. But beneath these struggles lies something deeper: a desire for mission.
Young men do not simply want comfort or entertainment. They want a challenge. They want to build something meaningful. They want to know that their lives matter to others. However, this process requires maturity, and maturity requires sacrifice. This can be a scary process for many. Yet this deeper hunger in a young man’s formation opens possibilities for growth that are both demanding and deeply rewarding, growth rooted in human formation, supported by places and spaces of accountability, and strengthened by the other pillars of formation.
In these environments, young men begin to develop discipline, responsibility and a clearer sense of purpose. They learn to order their desires, to persevere through difficulty, and to commit themselves to something greater than comfort or self-interest.
A call to accompany young men
Emerging research highlights a decline in close social bonds among men, with increasing numbers reporting that they lack close friendships or feel deeply unknown by others. A 2023 report by Equimundo, for example, found that many men resonate with the statement “no one really knows me well,” particularly among younger generations.
This growing sense of isolation stands in sharp contrast to the Church’s longstanding understanding of the human person as inherently relational and purpose-driven. Within this view, young men flourish not in isolation but when they are invited into lives of meaning — called to serve, to lead, to sacrifice and to help build communities grounded in love and responsibility.
This means that families, parishes and ministries cannot simply criticize young men for drifting. They must accompany them, challenge them and invite them into meaningful participation in the life of the Church and society.
When young men come to recognize that they are genuinely needed and they are entrusted with responsibility and supported by a community that believes in them, their sense of identity begins to shift. The “hero” they may have once only encountered through screens starts to take shape in real life through meaningful action and purpose.
This transformation is especially significant given that loneliness has been consistently linked to adverse health outcomes, including increased risk for premature mortality, cardiovascular disease, anxiety, depression, dementia and stroke. Findings from Equimundo further underscore this burden, with 40% of men meeting criteria for depressive symptoms and 44% reporting recent suicidal ideation.
Within this context, helping young men rediscover a sense of mission has implications that extend far beyond the individual. As they become more grounded in purpose and connection, families are strengthened, communities become more cohesive, and the Church is renewed by a generation of men prepared to serve.
Vicente Del Real is the founder and CEO of Iskali, a Catholic nonprofit dedicated to forming and empowering young Latino leaders. He writes from Chicago, where he leads Iskali’s mission of faith, service and community. This column was written in collaboration with Maria De Leon-Sanchez.
