How to talk to family members who loosely practice the Faith

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Father and Son
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Msgr. Charles PopeQuestion: I am 92 years old and have always loved my faith; however, I did have a scrupulous conscience growing up. My wife and I have five adult children who attended Catholic schools for all 12 years. Some are married outside the Faith, and two are divorced. They all have their own version of the Catholic faith and think it is OK to miss Mass and still receive Communion. I also have one daughter (divorced) who goes to Mass every Sunday but lives with her gentleman friend (also divorced) part of the week, and on Sunday she receives Communion. This has given me great anxiety. I was blessed to attend a Catholic college that deepened my faith. Reading Catholic papers, the hierarchy seems to be divided on so many issues.

Name, location withheld

Answer: It is understandable that you are anxious. Most of your children, who were certainly taught the Faith and should know better, have diverged from it in significant ways. There is a day of judgment coming for us all. At some point we will answer to God for what we have done and failed to do. God is just and will surely incorporate in his judgment of us what we could have reasonably known. Ignorance of the Faith does not seem to be a large factor for your children.

However, most of us older than 60 lived through and experienced a dramatic cultural revolution in the 1960s — a kind of tsunami that swept away in numerous waves the Judeo-Christian pillars of our culture. This upheaval gave the impression that all the old customs, teachings and rules were out and no longer applied. Perhaps the Lord will take this into account when he judges people like your children.

Further, as you point out, many clergy are divided and either fail to teach or have even misled the faithful as to what God and the Church really teach. These are difficult days to be sure, and the Lord will surely include these factors in how he judges us. Man sees the appearance, but God looks into the heart. Judgment is the Lord’s, so I cannot give every assurance to you except to say that the Lord who will judge them loves them and wants to save them.

All that said, continue to turn your anxiety into the energy of prayer for your children, for the Lord will not simply overlook sin, either. But I, as a priest, have seen people return to the Church or greater faithfulness after decades of wandering and dissent. I have little doubt that the prayers of parents and others who may have even died and gone home to God have a lot to do with such returns. Even if you do not live to see it here, I can tell you I have often heard the following in confession: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned; it is 40 years since my last confession.” Pray this for your children. And continue to warn them, but with the love that says, “I want you to go to heaven; I don’t want you to be lost.” The rest is in God’s hands.

Older forms of the Mass

Question: Is the celebration of Holy Mass according to the 1965 Missal (in the vernacular) permissible under Summorum Pontificum or a different indult? My belief is that since not everyone is ready for a return to Masses in Latin, this missal, which seems to accomplish the purposes of Sancrosanctum Concillium in a more organic, Spirit-led and less contrived manner than the current Mass (retaining the reverence, praise and worship and power of the Masses celebrated prior to 1970), may be one way forward.

John Vrdolyak, via email

Answer: No, the 1965 Missal is not currently covered by Summorum Pontificum. I share your view that it might be a helpful bridge for those not ready for Latin but who prefer some of the older traditions such as the priest facing the altar, prayers at the foot of the altar, quieter reverence, Communion while kneeling and on the tongue, etc. While Latin was less required in the Missal, it was still used for the Canon of the Mass.

I would argue, however, that the Mass of the Anglican Use Catholics comes very close to the 1965 Missal in all the ways stated. Further, it is linked to the new Lectionary and an elegant English translation. Music is also traditional. Hence you might explore this form of the Mass at a nearby Anglican Use Catholic Parish. I have long desired to see this form of the Mass more widely available.

Msgr. Charles Pope is the pastor of Holy Comforter-St. Cyprian in Washington, D.C., and writes for the Archdiocese of Washington, D.C. at blog.adw.org. Send questions to msgrpope@osv.com.

Msgr. Charles Pope

Msgr. Charles Pope is the pastor of Holy Comforter-St. Cyprian in Washington, D.C., and writes for the Archdiocese of Washington, D.C. at blog.adw.org. Send questions to msgrpope@osv.com.